How would you like to win an all expense paid trip to the Caribbean for the winter? For a select group of Al Qaeda faithful it is a dream come true; they were facing a bleak, frigid, and desolate winter in an arid, dusty cave. But along came a Federal Public Relations Agency that devised a win-win feel good and Public Relations Coup that could speed up the capture of the Mullah Omar, Osama Bin Hiden, and their faithful die-hards that are still holding out and causing trouble.
Our military is having to hunt down many of these die-hards who are hiding in difficult to locate caves and other sanctuaries. There is great danger to our forces because these fanatics are cold, miserable, and disoriented and are trying to regroup in order to do harm to Americans who they see as happy, affluent and capable of vacationing in the Florida Keys and the Caribbean.
We could save lives and money by having our promotional-advertising agencies put together the same tourist promotions material that they're using to lure the people up north down here and use that same propaganda to flood the areas in Afghanistan, where the hold-outs are suspected to be hiding, and let them know that there is an alternative to that cold, miserable, austere cave where they're presently domiciling. In addition, we'll let the present detainees in Gitmo send tropical post cards, telling of the coconut trees, warm breezes, the free food and medical treatment; and, oh yes, they can tell about how well they're being protected here in the tropics. Wish you were here!
Just as important, this has provided the proper excuse for all the congressional delegations to junket on down and away from the cold, miserable Washington and away from those pesky Enron scandals.
So, with one grand, brilliant Guantanamo Bay move, we've brought the Taliban, the Democrats, and the Republicans away from their bleak, frigid, desolate winters and taken them to an all expense- paid trip to the Caribbean and in one swoop, we've shortened the war and put Democrats and Republicans in a frame of mind to work together.
Sonny McCoy is Mayor of Monroe County.