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All the Rage

by Meryl Berman

Dear Dennis,

“If I repent of anything, it is very likely to be my good behavior.” The different drummer of a Henry David Thoreau spoke to me to simplify this weak in the knee(d) news with bedder choices. I whyte street piered from the lost horizons of a lost weekend to sea if a twoway emotional traffic jam had one wheyed into a cul-de-sac of friendship(wrecked) or unearthed a dead end street four votes of confidence or turned on(to) a southernmost rumantic road less traveled with blissful exceptions to policy. And yes, there is a sole April fool-ish daze meet around the consigning adult corner to May(be). And NO(W), Julio will not be having a sex change operation to save face or transagenda his nom de plume of a blow(n) job.

“Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk.” (HD Thoreau) A know you-turn to consultancy on the highway(man) of personal or personnel perception may be distorted when looking through the rear view mirror of time: some object(ion)s appear closer. And yes, this ebb and flow of insular a-wariness to collective non-commissioned consciousness is parallel parked on the village’s own avenues of adjustment; the boys rum barreled through a cautionary yellow light with a rolling rock stop at the DBPR sign of these depositional times to cop(acetic) a bet-hell scathingly brilliant separate but (un)equal after hours DCA patronage invitational (re:think Hayley Mills in The Trouble with Angels). The school bored possess a better learning curve.

“The frontiers are not east or west, north or south, but wherever a man ‘fronts’ a fact.” (HDT) And yes, if the city-managed search committee or mayor is jones-ing to hire or commandeer an-other consultant it should be a feng shui master! Why not cow key channel the energy of chi density into a transient licensed rewrite of the comprehensive plan? Each commissioner could represent one of the five elements and two energies such as chi and sha-- to give and take direction for the optimal flow of due process. Commissioners would be relieved of personal responsibility for their own gulf war between words and negative space of (inn)action for park and ride bank(ed) accounts. A donald of a duck tour de force has already trump(eted) this rosier view for interior redesign in a buy weekley format. Oh, say can you see(r) a prophetable future in spin the bottle family oriented board games for entrepreneurs with an enterprise zone name and thyme change to waterfront marketeering? And yes, this orison is a burnt offering to the tao and ching multiplier effect of a fat boy slim lyrical chant for right here, right now.

“Dreams are the touchstones of our character.” (HDT) Imagine! The chi mastering of d(h)o it in the privatized road rage of out with the (m)old and inn with a (k)new age of workshops far from the bight of the madding crowd; the purple rain of passion vines clinging to a rented city hall with wall to wahl clean and green variances; homesteaded votes of harmony to kee(p) statuesque ayes; a politically corrected (knot rd laing rockefeller institute connected) dais direction; cay club chairs moved to SRO jacques dorme alcoves in our french tickler company town to reflect under employment for developers; a fisherman teaching his daughter more than how to hook a compliment in the marina trade(off); and skateboarding to let(he) the sunshine in for karmic sutra justice and Jim Young codes of conduct becoming an officer and a gentleman. And yes, the chi of me senses an added advantage— all keys energy might create interference with tommy thompson’s preferred future placement of microchips for U.S.

“To be awake is to be alive.” (HDT) Chi factoring a fractional BOA (un)affordable or (un)available housing unit ore min(d)ing A&B or C (still as in commodore) passive aggressive transient licenses would permit out house land use language zenscaped with feel good and bad development. Cigarette smokers could be banned from duval un-squared grouper search committees without the muss and fuss of puff the magic dragon protest songs or discriminatory criteria (although I continue to ilky way my shirley templed support for know development as diversity points of kool ultra light philosophies). Timing it for evacuations would be moore art than scientology in designated areas of critical concern. Code compliance could be overruled without cockfights and assisted living conditions for feral cats. And yes, all officialdom would belly up to a southernmost bar after ten dressed to the nines. But alas(s) and alack (of morality twained with pragmatism), feng shui is so last centaur(ion).

“The heart is forever inexperienced.” (HDT) And yes, a sha hard drive exists in my diss-placement think tank theory of geomancy for the yin and yang of tropical current events and java choices four the All the Rage FROM previous page leadership mind(ed). EITHER: Simpl(if)y— fire and ice the city manager as poetic justice; truman annex all village streets with the same time and tempo theme; kee(p) the statues and find a foundry; limit density and transient license rewards to the kenson comprehensive plan of past moment(s); enforce building codes and s(up)port level playing fields for all utility players and team goalies, cinderfella coaches and planning umpires; redeem star trek soupcons of spockisms for re:trials but be re:lent(less) in espying offshore (t)oil and tribble spills; and, headhunt independent searches without divine intervention for a readers digest cerebral cortex of seaport harbored truth: the masses are not asses. OR: Live orwell and prosper with the “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” This trailer trashed boundary line may treacle well be attributed to Albert Einstein but archived records indicate it is part and parcel of a living will for the wonderland of our town. Offset print the diminishing returns of a budget balanced on lawsuits with an atocha treasure trove of lost and found transient licenses for pension(e)s with rogo tiered transshipment points of light and being. Am I on the wrong path(mark)? Do we need to hire an exorcist?

“A kitten is so flexible that she is almost double; the hind parts are equivalent to another kitten with which the forepart plays. She does not discover that her tail belongs to her until you tread on it.” (HDT) A feline scream of awareness to cheshire pussycats galore in our wildlife habitat of inhumanity: Spay and neuter your own killing field refuge of a passover policy for wilder cats. And yes, life is what happen(stances) when you are busy making other plans in our town and count(r)y. I have been tolled by an organizer of the MoveOn.org anniversary vigil held at the White Street Pier that Grandmothers for Peace handdelivered handwritten notes to our national representative (the day after) and letters were read from families of soldiers killed in Iraq-- but they ran out of time to announce the names of all the Florida war dead within their one hour permit. Amen (a declaration of affirmation found in the Hebrew Bible, the New Testament, and in the Qur’an) translates in (un)common english as “Let it Be”.

“Say what you have to say, not what you ought. Any truth is better than make-believe.” Note worthy from the vintage edge: I thought the Key West world of George Halloran’s citizen kaned letter about our city manager; caught the magical stylings of Roberta Marks and Cynthia Wynn at Lucky Street Gallery and (SoDu) you should, too; and, Stock Island’s Key West Fine Art Photography and Printing held sway with “Life Wildlife and Afterlife” photographic art by Gail Lima, Amy Culver and Carol Tedesco. I re:joyced to a st. ream of consciousness and celebrated st. pat and the ides of march with high velocity, low drag kate chopin awakenings to bon bons and bon mots due an inconvenient woman on the positively 4th street slide of gilda hayworth redemption (and straddled a few libel law fences of blue note imperfection to avoid splinters up my aperture). And yes, sometimes a cuban cigar is just a cigar (boat lift) or a navel exercise in futility for a yellow submarine.

Peace out (of past tense harmony) with “hope and the future for me are not in lawns and cultivated fields . . . but in the impervious and quaking swamps” of Thoreau and in the gravity’s rainbow of peninsular relationships.

Meryl Berman (merylb@bellsouth.net) is a freelance writer and REALTOR®. All the Rage will appear in print every other week-- until (l)it does not.

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